FINDING MOTIVATION

There's a lot to accomplish this month, but today I cannot seem to be able to get out of my own way. Instead of keeping busy, I am spending moments in quiet contemplation... then again, I'm not even contemplating much, my mind is not full of its usual chatter. For once I could sit in meditation and not have a war of words going on in my head.

I could be working on the printer. I've done the cleanings, but there are still lines across the pictures and the big printer that belongs to the LSSC is full of toner and I'm not looking forward to cleaning that. Guess that got all jarred in the moving. I have to get to it soon because I have responsibilities. Even in thinking about this, I sit back and let my mind go blank; I've probably done it at least five times while writing this one paragraph.

This is highly unusual for this time of the morning. I'm usually running at full speed by 7:30 and wouldn't be winding down til 9:30-10:00 a.m. Today however, I lean back in the chair and let the warmth of the sun permeate my soul. I feel at peace even though I know I should be very busy. Am I over tired? I didn't go to bed til after 11 last night and was still up by 5:30 a.m.

Maybe I should allow myself to revel in these feelings of peacefulness. Perhaps, for once, I should go down to the studio and do some art work. I started a new charcoal drawing the other day. I've also been thinking about the material and how I've been planning to make small medicine bags. I could finish setting up the healing room as I've moved it down stairs because there is more space for group healings.

No, instead I sit back once more and relax. What is this lack of motivation? Why am I being so lethargic when there's so much to do? I'm not even feeling panicky about the upcoming art show. I am enjoying the sensation of quiet peace. My heart is open and my mind is a blank space waiting patiently to be filled.

Maybe I'll just allow myself to sit back and feel this way. After all, how often does this happen? I'm just going to enjoy this morning...