It’s Sad About the Trains

Rockingham Junction Station

Newfields/Newmarket, N.H.

On Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012, Gayle Hedrington and I were off on another adventure, but time allowed for a detour from our objective. We both love to photograph anything about the railroad and I remembered this old station I passed many times throughout the years watching as time took its toll on the abandoned building. I even stopped once in 1989 to take photos. I was interested in the railroad, but hadn’t yet developed a real passion for photographing anything besides personal adventures and family. I didn’t even know the name of the station at the time. However, it always saddened me that these beautiful buildings were abandoned and a way of life that was once so important to N.H. communities and economy had died. Hence I had developed the line, “It’s sad about the trains.”

Views of the old building were usually from the Rte. 108 overpass. Before the overpass was built, Rte. 108 crossed the junction. The 2003 road map I have calls the section of Rte. 108 between the Stratham Traffic Circle and Newmarket, College Rd. I have never heard it called that. The old section of road no longer crosses the tracks and on this current visit, I accessed it from the south side.

I was concerned that the building might no longer be standing. I was pleasantly surprised. Not only was it still standing, it was being renovated. It looked so different from what I’d remembered. I kept looking around to see if it was the right place. I am pleased that the place is being restored, but they are doing it in blue and not the original yellow. For some reason, that is disappointing, but it’s wonderful that someone is taking the care to fix it up. We took a few photos.

Normally I would never go onto property marked with No Trespassing signs, but my fascination with the railroad and history takes over. I hope I am forgiven. I would never do anything or cause any harm. I totally respect property. All I want is photos and to share the story of adventure in discovering the history of the wonderful places around us.

A Little Bit of History:

Rockingham Junction, built in the 1890s, was once a bustling area. The north and south line was used by the Boston and Maine Railroad between Boston, Mass. and Portland, Me. An east west line, started as the Portsmouth Concord Railroad, connected Portsmouth to Manchester. Rte. 108, though I’m sure it wasn’t called that then, also passed through this intersection. The area also boasted stores, restaurant, and freight depot.

The station closed in 1979, the restaurant burned and stores went away. In 2007, the freight depot was demolished. The line from the junction to Manchester was purchased by the D.O.T. in 1988, the rails torn up and the section is now part of the Rockingham Recreational Trail program. The B & M was bought out by Guildford Railroad and the name later changed to Pan Am Railways. The north south tracks are shared with Amtrak’s Downeaster passenger service between Boston and Portland and there is still some freight service to Portsmouth.

To see photos, visit FaceBook, A Touch of Light.

Living the Life of an Artist

These past few months have been some of the toughest times in my life. My mother declined and passed away on Christmas day. She was on a gradual downhill roll and then reached a steep drop off. Her last two months were horrendous for both of us.

Now I am picking up pieces, clearing out space, and moving on. I have my moments when the sadness, regrets, and wish I should haves take over. Tears fall and sometimes I never know when they’ll come. Such is the grieving process.

In between getting used to be without my mother and working towards this year’s art shows, I am redesigning my living space. My mother was a collector. This week I am going through jewelry; her personal pieces, things she saved of my aunt’s, items they found at the beach coin finding or bought at flea markets. It’s amazing how much they had accumulated.

I’ve spent the week sorting into bracelets, rings, cuff links, earrings, pins, and necklaces, etc. Necklaces have been sorted further between gold looking pieces, silver, chokers, beads and pearls, and pendants. I have a box of religious items, a box of military/American Legion items, and many odds and ends. It’s overwhelming.

I am fascinated by some of the older items like rhinestone sets. I don’t think these have much value and the artist’s eye kicks in. I’m intrigued at the thought of using these in multimedia art work. Then there are the broken necklaces and stones that have fallen out. In the collection there are a few pieces that look to be about the 50 or 60s period and still good. I really like them and don’t want to let them go. I don’t know that anyone would wear them and again, I am intrigued by the idea of using the pieces in art.

I’m not much of a jewelry wearer myself, but I love the beauty and designs. I use them as wall decorations. The plan is to get rid of all that I don’t care for and keep some of the nicer pieces and those that I want to use in art.

To the collections, I added things from my own boxes, pieces I’ve had since childhood. I am wondering why I saved them all these years. Because I thought I was supposed to? Because some boy I no longer remember gave me a ring or chain? Most of those pieces have no value and are not in good shape. Chains are pitted and rings discolored. They’re just junk jewelry.

Then there are jewelry boxes. I really don’t want to hold on to things just because they were given to me and this made me wonder why I have done so. This might have to do with self worth. I must have been worthy for someone to give me gifts. Holding onto these things remind me that I was worth something to someone at one time. Is this especially so at a time in my life when I am no longer given gifts?

Yes, something to think about. In one aspect, I could say, okay I’ve thought about it, move on and not dwell on it. However, I have decisions to make. Do I continue to hold onto this stuff? For what? Or do I just pick out the things that are appealing to me now and get rid of everything else?

After dealing with all of my mother’s collections, I am very aware of all the things we accumulate. I need to downsize my house and what’s the point of holding onto all kinds of stuff. My life right now is all about the art work. I don’t need all this other stuff. It just clutters and takes up space. So, if it’s not going to go towards art work, decorating my walls, or be something useful, it’s going to go.

Yes, I will keep a couple things for sentimental reasons, especially if given to me by my mother or father.

Living the Life of an Artist

I have been journaling for years. Most of it is mundane or whiny every day stuff, but every so often, there is a shift in my mental status during the writing. It’s almost like I have to get the previous day’s thoughts off my mind before I can access a higher realm. Most days are the same with recording events of the day before. However, once in a while, my mind will jump to another level. It is like that proverbial light bulb going off, that “Aha!” moment.

Today I was writing about the Muse which I find is a fascinating subject. I began to wonder how my thoughts of her have changed, and is it the same Muse for all my artistic talents. Is there a different Muse for writing as compared to another who comes for photography or drawing? For me, there is definitely another presence, like a whispering in my ear, “Yes, you can do this.”

Sometimes when I have questions like this, I will get answers as I continue writing. I find the Muse is a tease. She arrives unannounced and if I don’t give her proper attention, she disappears. Yet, if I try to focus on her and not the art, she might fade in and out. She wants me to concentrate on something artistic, not her.

As I started thinking about what I noticed about her past visits, I had one of those jumps of consciousness.

As I mentioned, I’ve been journaling for years and as a writer, I’ve often wondered about writing memoirs. I could never figure out where to start. That jump of consciousness brought me to thinking about those “Sparks of Enlightenment” that I occasionally experience through my writing. What if I made my memoirs about those? What would it be like for me to go back through my journals and pick those out? Of course, there would be some story with it, too.

Could I do that? I mean, could I do that? Me? What would it be like if someone else read my journals and would they see those sparks? “Sparks of Enlightenment” would tell my story without the boring, mundane, whiny, day to day experiences. But would it be interesting to anyone else? These sparks have given me boosts. They’ve been my “pearls of wisdom.”

The muse fades back in, whispers in my ear, “We are married. I am the only one for you. Do this.” My analytical, have too many other things to do, brain kicks in crying, “I can’t take on another project!” She just smiles and disappears leaving me wondering. Can I? Should I? What about all my other projects that I want to do? I have appointments, errands to run, things to do…

Heartache… a poem

Or

A Poem for the Dying

I am broken

brain dissolved

to mush in my tears

heart so heavy

it falls

onto a rock hard gut

and shatters

Slivers spread through veins

creating tiny cuts

from which despair

bleeds into my soul

Emotions fuse

one solid block of pain

creating physical ill

I am nothing.

It is hopeless.

You might just as well

crush me

like the slimy bug

I am

Already flattened

I may never get up

Living the Life of an Artist

I am reading a biography on Pablo Picasso. Here I am, an artist, and I’ve never studied other artists. I’m making a bit of an attempt. All I ever knew about this man was that he did strange things on the canvas. The book is thick and I’m about a quarter of the way through. I question how someone can write a biography about an artist and not have any pictures with the mention of what he was doing and where he was when he painted or drew such and such. (Okay, yes, I know there are copyright laws and needing permissions, etc.) I vaguely had heard of his blue period and his rose period and the book mentions this, but without actual pictures, it’s hard to visualize. The words have little meaning.

I looked on the internet. Ah, here are pictures and even the ones I’ve seen mentioned. Picasso certainly went through interesting personal growth in his life and it definitely comes out in his work. His style changed dramatically over time, especially with the discovery of cubism. I can’t say I’m a fan. The art is very interesting and sometimes scary.

As so often, I get caught up in the pricing of art. It’s easier to understand if a piece has a lot of detail, but the drawings for which there are only a few simple lines, questions rise. Who would buy something like that for that exorbitant price? Does this just prove that people will buy anything associated with a name?

Hmmm, that phrase sticks in my mind:

PEOPLE WILL BUY A NAME!

Picasso proved this. He went against the grain and created some bizarre pieces. At first, many hated his work. He pushed himself to do more, to meet other artists and art enthusiasts and those willing to promote his work. He pounded the pavement to make sales. He became a known name. In a way, at the time, it didn’t matter what the painting sold for, just that it sold to put enough bread on the table and pay rent and allow him to get supplies.

Picasso also had a charisma that attracted people and even when he wasn’t very nice to them, they still followed him. For some, that is natural. Others have to work hard at attracting people.

But I am not writing about Picasso to write about Picasso, a master, a legend in the art world, I am writing because of my on-going quest to learn how to sell my art. The masters didn’t start out as rich and famous with collectors flocking to buy their work and some didn’t make much of a living their entire lives and their works were not worth anything until after the artists’ deaths.

I don’t want to wait until I die before people begin buying my art. Of course, I’m certainly not in the same realm as those past masters. I just want to make a simple living sharing my work with others. So, how do I do this?

“People will buy a name” is sticking in my mind. I’ve been told by others that it’s important to get “out there” and get a following. Once more this is hammered home to me.