Saturday, January 09, 2010

Sometimes I wonder if it is possible to be a writer and an artist. For awhile my writing was on hold outside of an occasional article and daily journaling. I needed to concentrate on the art work and build an inventory. The summer months turned to fall and now it is winter and it’s a struggle to find my writing feet. The spark isn’t here.
I never thought I’d stop writing and I won’t. I’m simply enjoying a bit of writer’s block. I don’t intend to choose between writing and other art mediums. I don’t intend to stick to one art form. I cannot limit myself when there are so many avenues to explore… and in the exploring, the writing about my findings. See, it’ll tie in.
Perhaps I should let out my secret… I’m not doing much art these days either. A wrench was thrown in the works when in the beginning of December; I not only came down sick, but injured my back at the same time. My back is fine now and I am feeling much better however, I make all these plans in my head in the morning but not much is accomplished by end of day.
Too easily I get discouraged. A wrong word will send me in a tailspin. A question will topple my coping abilities. I collapse in front of computer or tv or take naps to numb the mind but this is not the road to make 2010 more of a success than 2009.
I am the one that holds the key to that success. I am the one to “make it happen.” I cannot be successful participating in mind numbing activities. Great advice is given and I want to act on that good counsel. I do realize that the psyche can be affected during the cold, dark months and it is up to me to push beyond. Yes, it is work. It’s much easier to give in and take naps.
Maybe I am discouraged in the work that I have done lately. Oh, I am pleased with the articles I have written for the newsletters but I admit that it’s not exactly my style of writing. I am an emotional being and my joy in writing usually comes from feelings and what I discover about myself regarding a subject. Newsletter writing is not about the writer but the subjects and even if I am passionate about the topic, I hold myself apart in the story-telling.
I am thankful for these opportunities to write outside myself and the experience is beneficial in honing writing skills. However, I am making the decision to bring personal-ness back into my articles. I want to talk in the “I” position and let readers know how I feel about the subject. I believe that makes a connectedness. Even if someone doesn’t agree with me, the story will elicit a response. When I block of my feelings, I become hard inside.
This is the crux of the matter, for sure. All artistic endeavors come through emotions. When I look at a scene or a picture, it is the feeling I get that catapults me into creativity. If there is not feeling, there is no life. Mind and heart must remain open to possibility and any put down, criticism (real or imagined,) doubt or problems with equipment can close the door. It is my choice to keep the door open and persevere. I can choose joy over depression. I can even use frustration and anger to inspire an interesting bit of writing.
The pot cannot sit and stagnate. It needs to be stirred. It’s time to blow on the ashes and ignite the flames.

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