A PHOTOGRAPHER’S JOURNEY
My goal for this year is to promote my art work and this week I am working on photography. I have taken thousands of pictures and many of them are very good. I’ve sold a few note cards but I want to do more.
I printed some 5x7s and mounted and matted them as 8x10s and some of the barn photos are in frames and showing in the local library. Friends keep telling me that I should set up at fairs and shows. There’s a part of me that can see myself doing this but there’s a part that seems to find excuses not to get it done.
I am easily distracted and have many questions. I know what I like, but would other people? For the past few years, I’ve traveled to area events and looked at other peoples’ work. Yes, my photographs are just as good, so what holds me back?
It’s the “finished” product. What to do with the pictures and how to do it are roadblocks. I get “stuck” on some of the stupidest things… that self sabotage… and cannot seem to get beyond them.
For instance, there are many adhesives, tapes, and dots to aid in the mounting and matting and I haven’t found the one to be most comfortable in using. Personal preferences can also be a hindrance as what I like isn’t always what most others use. I like matte paper and with digital want to print my own projects but then a comment is made that photos need to be printed professionally or on a certain kind of printer. Some want glossy photos. Arrghh!
I would be very interested to hear other photographers and artists talk about their work and how they “do it.” Maybe this ties in to the actually setting up and selling--- talking to people, promoting the work--- even on-line, I would have to approach someone.
In the end, I know it’s all about being comfortable in my work. I am passionate about the photography and want to share the joys that are found in patterns, textures, colors, light, shadow, and lines. I know, too, I just have to shut up and do it. And I am.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN ARTIST
I am listening to birds but with leaves on the trees, I now can’t see many. I did see five geese fly right over head. Oh, those times when I cannot pick up the camera fast enough. One of these days I will catch that shot.
Yesterday I worked on making a brochure to highlight some of the art work that I do. I also printed two 5 x 7 pictures of owls and I’ve mounted and matted them. I’m pleased with the outcome though I am finding another hurdle to overcome with white mats. No matter how careful I am, I often end up with a thumb print on the white and cannot get it off. I’m not sure I can salvage those smudged mats. I’m going to try to re-paint the entire mat.
Lessons in perseverance, I guess. Perhaps that’s the price for not going to art or photography school--- I have to learn by trial and error. Such as it is, and I’ll just add that to my list of “things to pay attention to” along with learning how to attach the pictures and matting to the mounting board. There are many adhesives, tapes, and dots out there and I’ve been experimenting with what works the best.
Then again, we all have things we are good at and some that we are not.
Today I’ll add an artist’s bio plus an excerpt from my poetry-picture book to the brochure. I also want to print two more pictures as I am building an inventory of photographs for sale. I also need to work on a write up for these pictures to tell people about the matted piece, the artist, and contact information.
I have quite a few ideas and it all involves work and outside of doing the actual art, everything else IS WORK… which I tend to avoid. My goal for this year is to put myself out there more and that means self promotion. I am considering opening a store on etsy.com because I think I read that you can list things for three months which is more appealing than e-bay’s seven days (unless the item sells right away, of course.)
Gayle and I went to the Warner Arts Festival the other day and I can almost see myself set up with a booth. Almost. I did buy an E-Z Up last year but did not have the courage to go public. Everytime I attend one of the artisans fairs, I am more inspired. I CAN DO THIS! Perhaps if I build my inventory and get the pieces “finished,” I’ll feel ready.
Everyone is encouraging. Yes, I can do this!
I am listening to birds but with leaves on the trees, I now can’t see many. I did see five geese fly right over head. Oh, those times when I cannot pick up the camera fast enough. One of these days I will catch that shot.
Yesterday I worked on making a brochure to highlight some of the art work that I do. I also printed two 5 x 7 pictures of owls and I’ve mounted and matted them. I’m pleased with the outcome though I am finding another hurdle to overcome with white mats. No matter how careful I am, I often end up with a thumb print on the white and cannot get it off. I’m not sure I can salvage those smudged mats. I’m going to try to re-paint the entire mat.
Lessons in perseverance, I guess. Perhaps that’s the price for not going to art or photography school--- I have to learn by trial and error. Such as it is, and I’ll just add that to my list of “things to pay attention to” along with learning how to attach the pictures and matting to the mounting board. There are many adhesives, tapes, and dots out there and I’ve been experimenting with what works the best.
Then again, we all have things we are good at and some that we are not.
Today I’ll add an artist’s bio plus an excerpt from my poetry-picture book to the brochure. I also want to print two more pictures as I am building an inventory of photographs for sale. I also need to work on a write up for these pictures to tell people about the matted piece, the artist, and contact information.
I have quite a few ideas and it all involves work and outside of doing the actual art, everything else IS WORK… which I tend to avoid. My goal for this year is to put myself out there more and that means self promotion. I am considering opening a store on etsy.com because I think I read that you can list things for three months which is more appealing than e-bay’s seven days (unless the item sells right away, of course.)
Gayle and I went to the Warner Arts Festival the other day and I can almost see myself set up with a booth. Almost. I did buy an E-Z Up last year but did not have the courage to go public. Everytime I attend one of the artisans fairs, I am more inspired. I CAN DO THIS! Perhaps if I build my inventory and get the pieces “finished,” I’ll feel ready.
Everyone is encouraging. Yes, I can do this!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
TODAY’S CHOICES
The bird baths need cleaning.
I continue to struggle with choices. Many things interest me and I flit from one project to the next seldom finishing anything.
Unnamed weeds seemed to have grown overnight on the lawn.
Is this a form of self-sabotage? Is this a way to confirm that I am a failure? But I am not… not really. I love my life and I enjoy doing what I do. I just happen to like a lot of things.
The orioles are looking for jelly.
I make lists of the projects I want to do. I’m lucky if by week’s end I have checked off one. Two of my easels have unfinished charcoal landscape drawings on them. Those things I like to let sit for a few days before going back for touch ups--- they’ve been there over a week. Well, the weeks do turn into months.
I want to list a couple of cards on etsy.com.
I need to bring in some money to pay for these art projects, but I lack the motivation to research promotion. I don’t dare speak to store managers. I want to do the art work, but I do not enjoy the act of selling. It would be nice to have a manager--- but again, I’d have to be able to talk and sell myself.
The newest garden needs to be designed.
Last fall I had randomly planted flowers and now, before any more work is done in that area, I must come up with a design. Never being much of a gardener, I enjoy doing bits of it. It’s all small steps, and experimentation in what will grow and what won’t.
Perhaps the different kinds of mint should be put in containers.
I’m falling behind on the garden journal. I haven’t edited the last batch of pictures and I am about to download the recent ones taken. I have some gorgeous shots of the cherry blossoms which will make nice cards. I also want to have pictures and information on each plant that I have in my yard. I’m learning to take care of them.
I need to make a forward movement with my book.
I self published a book in December but I am not happy with the printing costs at lulu.com. I have been told about a local printer and an area editor thought that they could print the book at a much cheaper cost allowing me to sell at a lower price. I need to go there and talk to someone as I’ll need a new cover design and new isbn number.
Maybe I was wrong to try something different.
I’m a poet, photographer, and artist---basically a jack-of-all-trades and certainly master of none. The book is about life and contains poetry and pictures (photographs and pictures of some of my art work) and in a world where there are attempts to organize and categorize everything, my work doesn’t quite fit.
I need to make signs for my gardens.
I have ten grandchildren and ten sections of fence that borders one of the flower gardens. I named each section after one of the kids. I’m still learning what plants are there and have to keep counting fence sections to figure out whose garden I am working in. I am thinking about getting a little wood burning kit to put the child’s name on the cross beam of fence.
I could work on the bags.
A friend of mine gave me a couple of big boxes of upholstery fabric samples and I plan on making medicine or charm bags. I love the colors and textures and I bought quilting squares for the liners. I have enough material to last a lifetime. I have a clear vision in my head of how I want these bags to look. I just have to make the time to do them.
The boxes of beads are calling.
Everytime I look at my earrings I think that I need to re-do them. They were made at a time when I liked long, dangly ones and now I prefer short ones that won’t catch in my hair or collar. I could also be redesigning my necklaces to bring a newer sparkle to them. Maybe I could even make two sets of everything--- one to keep and one to sell. I really should be working towards bringing in some money to pay for all these supplies.
I find the most appealing pieces of bark and seed pods.
I have quite a collection of items to use in my multi-media combo projects and I haven’t worked on one of them for six years. Then again, my mom isn’t too impressed with them though I have great fun creating them. Ma’s criticism is… a killer to creative talent.
I could go on and as you can see, I can sit here and let words run rampant in my head. I can stare out the window and let the beauty of the field and mountains take me into other realms. It’s all about choice and right now I am going to choose to work on photographs.
Ahhh, life is so interesting.
The bird baths need cleaning.
I continue to struggle with choices. Many things interest me and I flit from one project to the next seldom finishing anything.
Unnamed weeds seemed to have grown overnight on the lawn.
Is this a form of self-sabotage? Is this a way to confirm that I am a failure? But I am not… not really. I love my life and I enjoy doing what I do. I just happen to like a lot of things.
The orioles are looking for jelly.
I make lists of the projects I want to do. I’m lucky if by week’s end I have checked off one. Two of my easels have unfinished charcoal landscape drawings on them. Those things I like to let sit for a few days before going back for touch ups--- they’ve been there over a week. Well, the weeks do turn into months.
I want to list a couple of cards on etsy.com.
I need to bring in some money to pay for these art projects, but I lack the motivation to research promotion. I don’t dare speak to store managers. I want to do the art work, but I do not enjoy the act of selling. It would be nice to have a manager--- but again, I’d have to be able to talk and sell myself.
The newest garden needs to be designed.
Last fall I had randomly planted flowers and now, before any more work is done in that area, I must come up with a design. Never being much of a gardener, I enjoy doing bits of it. It’s all small steps, and experimentation in what will grow and what won’t.
Perhaps the different kinds of mint should be put in containers.
I’m falling behind on the garden journal. I haven’t edited the last batch of pictures and I am about to download the recent ones taken. I have some gorgeous shots of the cherry blossoms which will make nice cards. I also want to have pictures and information on each plant that I have in my yard. I’m learning to take care of them.
I need to make a forward movement with my book.
I self published a book in December but I am not happy with the printing costs at lulu.com. I have been told about a local printer and an area editor thought that they could print the book at a much cheaper cost allowing me to sell at a lower price. I need to go there and talk to someone as I’ll need a new cover design and new isbn number.
Maybe I was wrong to try something different.
I’m a poet, photographer, and artist---basically a jack-of-all-trades and certainly master of none. The book is about life and contains poetry and pictures (photographs and pictures of some of my art work) and in a world where there are attempts to organize and categorize everything, my work doesn’t quite fit.
I need to make signs for my gardens.
I have ten grandchildren and ten sections of fence that borders one of the flower gardens. I named each section after one of the kids. I’m still learning what plants are there and have to keep counting fence sections to figure out whose garden I am working in. I am thinking about getting a little wood burning kit to put the child’s name on the cross beam of fence.
I could work on the bags.
A friend of mine gave me a couple of big boxes of upholstery fabric samples and I plan on making medicine or charm bags. I love the colors and textures and I bought quilting squares for the liners. I have enough material to last a lifetime. I have a clear vision in my head of how I want these bags to look. I just have to make the time to do them.
The boxes of beads are calling.
Everytime I look at my earrings I think that I need to re-do them. They were made at a time when I liked long, dangly ones and now I prefer short ones that won’t catch in my hair or collar. I could also be redesigning my necklaces to bring a newer sparkle to them. Maybe I could even make two sets of everything--- one to keep and one to sell. I really should be working towards bringing in some money to pay for all these supplies.
I find the most appealing pieces of bark and seed pods.
I have quite a collection of items to use in my multi-media combo projects and I haven’t worked on one of them for six years. Then again, my mom isn’t too impressed with them though I have great fun creating them. Ma’s criticism is… a killer to creative talent.
I could go on and as you can see, I can sit here and let words run rampant in my head. I can stare out the window and let the beauty of the field and mountains take me into other realms. It’s all about choice and right now I am going to choose to work on photographs.
Ahhh, life is so interesting.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
HEART PATH OBSTACLES
Seems I have struggled for years with this thing called heart. Oh, these walls that I have built so strong! Everytime I try to take them down, something comes along to slam me. Why is that?
When I reached my thirties, I began the quest to become a better person--- a woman that I could like and be happy with. My studies were eclectic and the journey very interesting.
Once I met a woman who was so totally filled with compassion that my reaction was, “I could never be like that.” Yet throughout the years, I have often thought about that feeling, and although I’ve not experienced that with anyone since, a part of me looks for that compassion; that part of me that still desires to be a better person.
But when you’ve spent a lifetime building walls around your heart, how do you reach through the layers?
One time I decided to do a meditative vision quest. In my mind, I went to “my place” on a hill and waited through the night. I danced with deer and foxes. Skunks came to sit in my lap. With the dawn, came the bear. He rose up higher than I was standing. I didn’t know whether to run or stay. He reached his huge claws towards me and in the moment he ripped into my flesh, he turned into a man and with a knife, began stabbing at my heart, chipping away the ice in which it was encased.
Talk about a big “Wow” moment! But it didn’t last. I continued with every day life never figuring out how to bring the spiritual into the commonplace. I read many books and attended all kinds of seminars and classes but never did I again reach that part of my heart that lied buried in ice.
Too sensitive, I built stronger walls as frustrations grew on the job and my voice was silenced. As my spirituality grew so did my lack of tolerance in the “not fairs” surrounding me. I became an emotional wreck and my only comfort was solitude and nature. The more I tried to practice balance and harmony, the further away it got. How could I call myself a spiritual being when I couldn’t handle daily life?
I eventually quit that job, relationships ended, and the goal of becoming a hermit got closer. If I wasn’t close to people, I couldn’t be hurt, could I? I could sit on my mountaintop and alone, I could feel compassion for the world.
Ironically, as that time for solitary living nears, I realize that I don’t want to be alone. I know too, that my issues are not resolved. I still have trouble being “out in the world.” All the running away and hibernating did not open my heart. I’ve often said that it’s easy for monks to be compassionate when they stay in their monasteries and not have to face real world. I am not ready to give up that real world.
So once more I am back looking at my heart issues. Most of the time, I am content. My heart is filled with much gratitude. I am returning to the spiritual, however, I notice that by opening up, I am once more allowing myself to be hurt.
What is it about this heart stuff that causes pain? Am I just too sensitive as I’ve been told all my life?
The Buddhists believe that we are here to experience suffering. Perhaps… but I also believe that life is much more. Maybe the purpose is to experience the pain with an open, loving heart and I’ve just not been able to get past the pain. Jeez, after all these years and all this training, I still don’t get it?
Every time I feel hurt, I pull in and build tighter walls. That’s not the answer. I know better, yet every time I think I’ve got it, something else causes me to crash. I peek out. Maybe I’ll be safe this time… then slam!
The trick, though not really a trick, is to keep the heart open and not close down; to keep the heart loving in spite of the hurt; to be able to say, “I know you hurt, but it’s okay.”
I am working again with a Native American Medicine, this time a Holy Man. These past few weeks I have spent much time in prayer but today, with this writing, a revelation. I finally “get it.” Another layer is taken down as what I was told sinks in.
“Think from your heart not with your head.” I have heard this often and now realize that when I am in prayer, I am always “thinking” about what I need to say and who I need to pray for and what I need to be thankful for--- which is all in my head while my heart remains solid with its walls erect and strong.
(In this moment, my mind jumps to, “you can’t always think from your heart” and that is true to an extent. You do need the logic from your brain but as I am currently not in balance, I need to develop heart openness.)
New challenges come with this latest work. I am not ready to deal with them, but evidently, Spirit feels otherwise. Right off the bat, the rug is pulled from under me and friendships and loyalties are in question. I want to run away and hide and never come out.
I want to scream, “Not fair!” I don’t want to feel that I am in the wrong (although there is no wrong nor blame.) I am working on taking down the walls, but this situation makes me feel I have to keep them up (which is the really true challenge.) I am hurt and scared and feeling betrayed. I don’t feel safe… and yes, there is some anger… all these issues of the heart.
What am I to do?
Keep working. I pray and meditate more than twice a day. I tap (EFT.) I want to take down the barriers and walls that I’ve spent a lifetime building. I want my heart to feel whole and healthy and I want to feel safe around people.
Seems I have struggled for years with this thing called heart. Oh, these walls that I have built so strong! Everytime I try to take them down, something comes along to slam me. Why is that?
When I reached my thirties, I began the quest to become a better person--- a woman that I could like and be happy with. My studies were eclectic and the journey very interesting.
Once I met a woman who was so totally filled with compassion that my reaction was, “I could never be like that.” Yet throughout the years, I have often thought about that feeling, and although I’ve not experienced that with anyone since, a part of me looks for that compassion; that part of me that still desires to be a better person.
But when you’ve spent a lifetime building walls around your heart, how do you reach through the layers?
One time I decided to do a meditative vision quest. In my mind, I went to “my place” on a hill and waited through the night. I danced with deer and foxes. Skunks came to sit in my lap. With the dawn, came the bear. He rose up higher than I was standing. I didn’t know whether to run or stay. He reached his huge claws towards me and in the moment he ripped into my flesh, he turned into a man and with a knife, began stabbing at my heart, chipping away the ice in which it was encased.
Talk about a big “Wow” moment! But it didn’t last. I continued with every day life never figuring out how to bring the spiritual into the commonplace. I read many books and attended all kinds of seminars and classes but never did I again reach that part of my heart that lied buried in ice.
Too sensitive, I built stronger walls as frustrations grew on the job and my voice was silenced. As my spirituality grew so did my lack of tolerance in the “not fairs” surrounding me. I became an emotional wreck and my only comfort was solitude and nature. The more I tried to practice balance and harmony, the further away it got. How could I call myself a spiritual being when I couldn’t handle daily life?
I eventually quit that job, relationships ended, and the goal of becoming a hermit got closer. If I wasn’t close to people, I couldn’t be hurt, could I? I could sit on my mountaintop and alone, I could feel compassion for the world.
Ironically, as that time for solitary living nears, I realize that I don’t want to be alone. I know too, that my issues are not resolved. I still have trouble being “out in the world.” All the running away and hibernating did not open my heart. I’ve often said that it’s easy for monks to be compassionate when they stay in their monasteries and not have to face real world. I am not ready to give up that real world.
So once more I am back looking at my heart issues. Most of the time, I am content. My heart is filled with much gratitude. I am returning to the spiritual, however, I notice that by opening up, I am once more allowing myself to be hurt.
What is it about this heart stuff that causes pain? Am I just too sensitive as I’ve been told all my life?
The Buddhists believe that we are here to experience suffering. Perhaps… but I also believe that life is much more. Maybe the purpose is to experience the pain with an open, loving heart and I’ve just not been able to get past the pain. Jeez, after all these years and all this training, I still don’t get it?
Every time I feel hurt, I pull in and build tighter walls. That’s not the answer. I know better, yet every time I think I’ve got it, something else causes me to crash. I peek out. Maybe I’ll be safe this time… then slam!
The trick, though not really a trick, is to keep the heart open and not close down; to keep the heart loving in spite of the hurt; to be able to say, “I know you hurt, but it’s okay.”
I am working again with a Native American Medicine, this time a Holy Man. These past few weeks I have spent much time in prayer but today, with this writing, a revelation. I finally “get it.” Another layer is taken down as what I was told sinks in.
“Think from your heart not with your head.” I have heard this often and now realize that when I am in prayer, I am always “thinking” about what I need to say and who I need to pray for and what I need to be thankful for--- which is all in my head while my heart remains solid with its walls erect and strong.
(In this moment, my mind jumps to, “you can’t always think from your heart” and that is true to an extent. You do need the logic from your brain but as I am currently not in balance, I need to develop heart openness.)
New challenges come with this latest work. I am not ready to deal with them, but evidently, Spirit feels otherwise. Right off the bat, the rug is pulled from under me and friendships and loyalties are in question. I want to run away and hide and never come out.
I want to scream, “Not fair!” I don’t want to feel that I am in the wrong (although there is no wrong nor blame.) I am working on taking down the walls, but this situation makes me feel I have to keep them up (which is the really true challenge.) I am hurt and scared and feeling betrayed. I don’t feel safe… and yes, there is some anger… all these issues of the heart.
What am I to do?
Keep working. I pray and meditate more than twice a day. I tap (EFT.) I want to take down the barriers and walls that I’ve spent a lifetime building. I want my heart to feel whole and healthy and I want to feel safe around people.
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