Thursday, January 29, 2009
HEALING WORK AND SELF DOUBT
"I wish everyone would do it like I do it," she said. Immediately my defenses went up. I want to do it "my way" and I have spent a lot of years developing "my way." Yet, I have to consider her words. She's not the only one to have made that statement and if we are to support one another, these issues need to be considered. We all have our opinions and beliefs and those must be honored.
One of my gifts is that I can see both sides, so once I am able to get past my initial reaction to a statement, I am able to look at what's going on around it. I had to recognize that this is an area where I can be stubborn--- which is a sarcastic ha ha considering the belief in being open. I have to look at this further and what I realize is that it is about self doubt.
We are very passionate in what we do. On one hand, we say we are open, but in our hearts, we believe that we have found the way. However, doubts are there. They creep in silently. Suddenly, we are wondering if we are doing it right. Maybe so and so has the real answer and we should be doing it her way or maybe we are stubborn and want others to do it like us or everyone could become like me and insist on doing it in her own style refusing even to try someone else's way.
I don't think there's any ONE true way. We all find our own paths and no one does it exactly the same as the next. Even two people doing Reiki will eventually develop their own styles. There will be similarities in what one another does, but other individual factors will develop.
The self doubts pop out when we are alone. Oh, perhaps I should have done it differently. Maybe I'm not really helping my client. I could be disillusioned or crazy or, or, OR... a FRAUD!
This is one of the reasons for getting together as a group. We can help eachother, tell each how wonderful she is, and experience what one another is doing. If our intent is pure and we genuinely want to help others, then we cannot allow ourselves to think we are doing anything wrong! We are not.
I believe that when I put my hands (or mind) out to work on someone, something else takes over. Yes, I have training in multiple disciplines, but it isn't just that. There's something more, something greater. The moment we set ourselves up to do healing on a person we are opening the door to that greater healing power--- whether we call it God, Spirit, Universal Healing or whatever--- that comes through us and somehow mixes with our technical training. We have all discussed how we "know" certain things and that is that something greater coming through.
What right have we to doubt that?
Yet, that's what we do everytime we have uncertainties whether we have done the right thing. If we doubt ourselves, we are doubting the spirit that moves within us; we are doubting the healing that channels through us.
Yes, we are human beings and we do make mistakes in life, but I 100% believe that when we are open to Spirit and doing a healing, it is more than just us. We have to trust in that Spirit and allow that what happens with that client is between Spirit and that client. We are only a channel, only a tool for Spirit to use in healing. We are not personally responsible for the health of the client. We are only doing the best we can to help. That's all we CAN do. Anything else isn't up to us.
So what do we do when the doubts creep into our brains? I have to keep reminding myself to trust in the Spirit... and it sometimes is a physical effort to do so. I have to STOP my thinking pattern at that point and force myself to think of other things. I have to busy myself doing something. It's important, too, to call on a friend or fellow healer. Sometimes a word or two from a friend will help us get back on track. That's what we do. We help one another... and in doing so, can help ourselves.