Sunday, February 08, 2009

Another day. Had a lot going on yesterday so didn't get a chance to write. Things are calming down a bit--- I hope. Ma's fluids are looking a little more normal this morning, so the bleeding is slowing. I feel I can breathe easier.

Yesterday I had a realization about my "magic pill" theory. The theory is that there are a lot of people, like my mother, who believe that they can go to the doctor and be given a pill to make them feel good or feel like they used to. Ma always says that the doctors are holding out and I keep telling her that there are no magic pills and that YOU have to work at making yourself better. Yesterday, I realized that I, too, have an expectation and that is that people should be healthy when they come home from the hospital. I guess that isn't very realistic. People are sent home all the time who are not in good condition. Oh, well. Reality check.

This morning I chose to sleep later and when I arose, I was thinking about how my mother's plight is overshadowing my joys. Thursday, I was able to hang twelve of my drawings. Wow, did that seem good to finally get them framed and on the walls. They look pretty darn good, too. Then yesterday, we had a fantastic writing group. Our two new member have such a wonderful sense of humor and it was great that Holly felt well enough to join us. Later, two friends came and sat with Ma so I could go snowmobiling with Don, Carol, Henry, and Val. What a joy to get out in the fresh air!

Last night Ma made the comment that she misses having a menu to choose from for her meals. It made me think about how "happy" she appears when in the hospital. She has people waiting on her hand and foot. She has meal choices. There's almost always someone around willing to chat with her. She becomes bright eyed and her spirits rise.

She comes home and it's just her and I and I am not about to sit at her bedside all day or run back and forth getting her things. (Plus she likes her heat up to 90 degrees.) I won't get her medications because she needs to get up and move around, and this gives her an excuse to get out of bed. So her whole demeanor changes. She slumps. Her voice takes on a kind of "oh, woe is me" tone. There's nothing exciting going on here, no dramas in the halls or stories from other patients. (Personally, I think she reads too many love stories where the heroine has servants to do everything right down to laying out the day's clothes.)

There probably will come a time when Ma will have to be waited on, but we're not there yet. There's no reason for her to lay in bed most the day and she'd do a lot better if she got up and moved around. It'd even help her COPD.
Well, it's getting late. I'm going to download some pictures off the cameras. I need to do some snowmobile stuff and people want more cards.

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