Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Once more I have waited til the last minute to write an article after saying again that I would not. I am putting it off further, by writing here first. Then again, I have til tomorrow. Why is it that I cannot get things done in a timely manner? I'm the same way with paying bills. If I had all the money I've paid out in late fees, I would be very well off. If I ever sent a birthday card out on time I think the recipient would faint.
So what is it about timing that puts me off? I easily find other things to do. I work on many projects simultaneously bouncing from this to that like a butterfly going from flower to flower. I am easily distracted... and I kind of like being this way.
What do I mean by liking to be this way? It's that I find many things interesting. How can I narrow my focus when there's so much beauty around me? Even as I write here, my eyes keep straying to the window where there are blue jays, chickadees, and crows flying by. I hear a song and I am looking to see what bird is starting his mating call. The sky turns pink and blue and the sun peeks over the tops of the trees while the light reflects on the ice in the road.
I suppose this lack of focus is why my house is seldom clean. I'll start working and get caught up somewhere else. If I take an object downstairs, I'll end up doing something while there or I'll pick up a book or an interesting piece that I found and next thing I know, an hour or so has passed and I've not accomplished what I set out to do.
I have learned not to be angry at myself for these digressions. I want to enjoy life and if I am distracted by the beauty around me, then so be it. I find beauty in many things; from birds, flowers, bits and pieces that I find, words, colors, textures, and patterns. My sacred name is Crying Heart because of how I see this beauty. I want others to notice, too. I want everyone to pay attention to this gorgeous land on which we live.
What are deadlines when there is much joy to be had by taking the time to pay attention; by allowing the soul to breathe, see, touch, listen, and taste. Yes, I made the commitment to writing this article, but I refuse to let the pressure put me in a box with the lid on tight. I'll do my writing with an open heart and when I am able to get the article in on time, then hurray and those times I miss the mark, oops, sorry. No hard regrets. I shall enjoy life as much as I can. Oooh, Yea ya.

1 comment:

jerzegirl said...

I find it interesting that most writers put off writing. Sounds odd but most of the writers I know do this.

I remember reading a piece where the writer was doing this, doing that and then when everything was done they announced. "So now I have no excuses I must write."

Perhaps it the fear that words will not arrive at the moment we need them and we will face that awful blank paper or blank screen.

I posed this question yesterday on twitter... but no one responded.

Have a great day.